A few years ago, my nieces shared how they primarily saw me as a wife. It made sense—that’s all they had known. Then one of my older nieces remarked that I’d likely get so comfortable being single that it would be hard to consider a relationship again. It’s fascinating how others perceive you. But being a wife isn’t confined to marriage, and one day they’ll understand that who you are transcends any title someone else gives you.
Today, I’m healthy, thriving, and at peace as a single woman. Recently, I overheard someone say, “Thank you for bothering me, because I never knew I’d be capable of another bothering me—or want someone to watch television with and talk to me about his feelings.” That statement triggered a memory of a conversation with my father. He’d once asked if I was dating anyone, and I told him no. His relief was apparent, as if he wanted me to say no. I reminded him, “Dad, I’m not a little girl.” He chuckled and replied, “Oh yeah.” Then, with his signature tenderness, he added, “But you’ll always be my girl.”
That conversation evolved into a deeper discussion about relationships. He reassured me about their significance, and I told him I’d never get married again. No courthouses, no name changes—never. He laughed, and I explained, “Dad, love is voluntary. I don’t need a license to love. When I help a homeless person, I volunteer; there’s no contract. Love is a choice.” He agreed but offered wisdom: “One day, you may want to share your life with someone. Just remember, you won’t like them every day—but love is still a choice.”
The statement I overheard reminded me of a woman who’d been dating a man who left her abruptly. She shared how the experience helped her realize she’s ready to share her life with someone—not someone emotionally unavailable like him, but someone who meets her standards. She recognized he wasn’t the one for her, and instead of trying to change him into the potential she imagined, she let go. She learned from the experience and moved forward. Not everyone is deserving of your love, and that’s perfectly okay. Recognizing someone’s purpose in your life allows you to move forward without resentment and embrace the next lesson.
This is a conversation I would’ve had with my father. Though he’s no longer physically here, I’m still working through the renovation process of his absence. Yet, our conversations continue in spirit, and for that, I’m grateful.
As the new year unfolds, it opens many realities for most of us. One constant for me is grief—an ever-present reminder of my love for my father. He was one of the most complex men I’ve ever known. Fierce on the field, a celebrated running back for an all-American team with little history of winning, as of late but during his time on the field, he was a force. But to me, he will always be so much more.
#LifeLessons #PersonalGrowth
#HealingJourney #SelfReflection
#DaddysGirlForever #LessonsFromDad
#GriefAndLove #LoveIsAChoice
#SelfWorthMatters #GrowthMindset
#IntentionalLiving
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